The many faces of rejection

If you were to read up on what it takes to be a writer rejection gets its own chapter. It's quite an understatement to say writers need a thick skin.

As I push forward with making my submission list (and checking it twice 🙂 )I am ever mindful that rejection is more a certainty than making it past the slush pile. However, this journey has done nothing if not prepared me for rejections. You see, rejection starts the moment you tell someone you want to be a writer and their response is “Oh, so does so and so” or “You think that's really going to happen?” The list is comments to your declaration is endless. I'm sure you are thinking of a few right now.

Rejection- Version Two: This happens when you tell someone you want to be a writer, they've made their initial “ain't gonna happen” remark but ask anyway what you want to write about. So you tell them your idea (which I highly recommend you do not do) and they have a come back that sounds like this, “Oh, that doesn't sound believable” or “Yikes”. My personal favorite is- “that's a stupid idea.” But it's not their fault. They don't have the vision. Only other writers can truly understand where you are coming from and if another writer says something of the sort to you, I would stop sharing with them right away.

Rejection- Inciting Incident #3: You've finished your work, written a short piece, a poem or even a full length novel.  Heck, you've written a haiku. Whatever it is that you've done and poured your self into it, it's now a piece of you that you love and treasure. So you tell the people you love and trust the most and offer to let them read it. Their response? “No thanks, I don't read that stuff.”Even if they really don't and having them read it would be the WORST idea in decades because you know in your heart of hearts they'll never be able to give you the objective feedback you crave, it's still a rejection in it's most simplest form.

Rejection-Fourth Dimension: So you've found a critique group and you are all in it to win it. Getting better is the common objective and making the dream come true is the common goal. So you share your stuff.  All's good, right? In theory it should be. But toxic critique groups exist. I wouldn't know anything about that because I have the best critique group on the face of this planet. Anyway, you bear your soul and they give you feedback. Even if it's wanted feedback that is constructive and helps you grow, it's still a rejection. Though these rejections I find to be the best kind.

Rejection – 4 and 1/2: This is similar to receiving a critique from your group but extends out to the Beta reader. Sometimes you know these people and sometimes you don't. This rejection should move you forward and not back. In my opinion. You're skin just got another layer of thickness.

Rejection-5 The WHAMMY: This is the real deal. This is when you've put yourself out there and sent out queries and now sit and chew your fingernails down to their numbs while constantly checking your email and have lost the ability to function as a reasonable adult. This rejection, if it comes, can break you indefinitely. At least the first one will. But you've been preparing for this all along. From the moment you opened your mouth and said you wanted to be a writer. I think the first rejection calls for a pity party but I also think you have to set a time to make the pity party end. That's when you take a deep breath and start all over again. Because you're a writer.

Rejection 5 and 1/2: This is for the person who decides to self publish or even if you've been published by a house, this is the bad review rejection. It still calls for a pity party but not much of one because the truth is bad reviews are going to happen.

So I wish you all well as you put yourself out there. Thank you for sharing a part of you and congrats! Well done! Good for you!

What's do you have planned next? What's your goals for 2014? Please share. I'd love to know.

 

 

2 thoughts on “The many faces of rejection

  1. Great article. I like your idea that the writing process and constant rejection prepares you for rejection after you submit. You are right, you must really be dedicated to fight your way through all he rejection.

    Thanks, You helped me see things a little differently

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